READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
