im about as happy as oj after his trial
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
