Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
