I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
