yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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