physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
