Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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