Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
