I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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