Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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