Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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