If i come over, it means nothing
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize