You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
