3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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