3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize