Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Randomize
