The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
