So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
