we have pet lesbian snakes
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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