Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
and she was petting her beer can
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
