Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
