Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
