Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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