Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
