cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
