So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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