I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
