She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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