Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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