Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
