I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Everclear isn't food dammit
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
