In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize