My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
