Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize