Tell her she can't have a vagina
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
