did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
