If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize