I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the day after is always just damage control
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize