even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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