As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
