I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
