He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize