if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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