brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
