all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
