I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
