So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
