You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
