the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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