can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
