omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
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