kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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