I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
