we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
