thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
