well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
