The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
